The Foundation of Wisdom and Ethics for Children (and Adults)
By Wayne Christiansen
“A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother” (Pro. 10:1). Imagine that your son (or daughter) fulfills his dream of becoming a doctor or a lawyer or a major league baseball player, but he lives like a fool. He rejects God’s counsel. He associates with men whose paths are crooked. He is seduced by the adulteress woman with her flattering words. His lust for money leads to a gambling problem and high-risk investments, which ends in bankruptcy. The net result is shame. Remember, a wise son makes a glad father—not a wealthy son or a successful son or a famous son.
Since rearing wise children is so crucial, where do we begin? We don’t have to guess. “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction… The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight” (Pro. 1:7; 9:10, emphasis added). We will not even begin to impart wisdom to our children without a healthy fear of God. Many assume that the fear of the LORD is for the mature, but Solomon tells us that it is for everybody who wants to acquire wisdom, including children. And, in a profound sense, anyone who fears the LORD already has wisdom. ‘“Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom,”’ (Job 28:28).
Some reject the fear of the LORD by citing 1 John 4:18, as if this verse trumps all the verses on the fear of God and cancels them out. We need to keep in mind that 1 John 4:18 is dealing with a specific issue, namely “the day of judgment” (1 Jn. 4:17). “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love” (vs. 18). To be sure God doesn’t want his children to be terrorized by the prospect of judgment and damnation. The whole book of first John was written, according to 5:13, “to you who believe in the name of the Son of God that you may know that you have eternal life.” At the same time this doesn’t absolve us of a sense of reverence and awe we should have in the presence of a majestic and holy God. The writer of Hebrews exhorts us, “let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire” (Heb. 12:28-29).
The fear of the LORD is the foundation of wisdom, and it is also the foundation of ethics. “By the fear of the LORD one turns away from evil” (Pro. 16:6). Solomon concludes Ecclesiastes, “The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man” (Eccl. 12:13). Fearing God and keeping his commandments are not two unrelated commands, as we have already seen from Proverbs 16:6; it is precisely by fearing God that we are empowered to turn away from evil and walk in obedience.
Despite what our culture wants to believe, religion and ethics are inextricably linked. John Murray saw this connection. He said, “This emphasis which Scripture places upon the fear of God evinces the bond that exists between religion and ethics. The fear of God is essentially a religious concept; it refers to the conception we entertain of God and the attitude of heart and mind that is ours by reason of that conception. Since the biblical ethic is grounded in and is the fruit of the fear of the Lord, we are apprised again that ethics has its source in religion and as our religion is so will be our ethic. This is to say also that what or whom we worship determines our behavior” (John Murray, Principles of Conduct, 231). Therefore, when there is a decline of religion in a country, with the fear of God at the heart of that religion, we should not be surprised if there is also a corresponding decline in morality and ethics. In fact, it is inescapable.
The fear of the Lord is to affect all we do. Even the most mundane activities find their impetus in the fear of the Lord. Consider a few examples. The fear of the Lord should motivate Christians to be conscientious and hard workers. “Slaves, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord” (Col. 3:22). “Fearing the Lord” isn’t a superfluous phrase; it is meant to be the main motivating factor in our work. Also, Spirit-filled Christians should be “submitting to one another out of reverence [literally, fear] for Christ” (Eph. 5:21). Finally, “And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one’s deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile” (1 Pet. 1:17).
To raise God-fearing children is to raise children who reflect Christ. Isaiah prophesied of the Messiah, “And the Spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him…the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD. And his delight shall be in the fear of the LORD” (Isa. 11:2-3).
Raising God-fearing Children Once Again
There was a time when Christians in America were known as God-fearing people. Parents made it a priority to instill within their children a healthy fear of God. Today, such parenting is seen as archaic and outdated, if not cruel and barbaric. Why would any loving parent teach his or her children to fear God?
First, recognize, as we’ve said, that the fear of the LORD is the foundation of morality and ethics. Scripture often makes a connection between fearing God and avoiding evil. For example, the LORD commended Job before Satan for being ‘“a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil”’ (Job 1:8). Proverbs 8:13 says, “The fear the LORD is hatred of evil.” Do you want your children to hate lying, cheating, stealing, immorality, disobedience, etc.? Then teach them to fear the LORD.
John Murray said, “The highest reaches of sanctification are realized only in the fear of God” (Ibid.). This is supported by 2 Corinthians 7:1, which exhorts us to “cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God” (NASB, emphasis added).
Paul strings together one Old Testament passage after another, in Romans 3:10-18, to drive home the point that we are all sinners in desperate need of a Savior. The climax and explanation for our sinfulness comes in verse 18: “There is no fear of God before their eyes.” At the root of sin is a failure to fear God. The wicked could simply be defined as those who don’t fear God. John Calvin astutely observed, “All wickedness flows from a disregard of God…Since the fear of God is the bridle by which our wickedness is held in check, its removal frees us to indulge in every kind of licentious conduct.”
Second, realize that the fear of God is not to be equated with terror that would traumatize our children. There is a subtle, but crucial, distinction between being “afraid” of God and “fearing” God. I know this sounds like a semantics word game, so let me explain. In Exodus 20, God delivers the Ten Commandments from Mount Sinai amidst thunder, lightning, loud trumpet blasts, smoke and fire, as the mountain trembled violently due to His presence. “When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear…” (vs. 18, NIV). “Moses said to the people, ‘Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning’” (vs. 20, NIV). The people are not to be afraid of God, but they are to fear God. Moses is not contradicting himself, but making a vital distinction. Verse 20 could be paraphrased: “Do not be terrorized. God has come to test you, so that reverential awe of God will be with you to keep you from sin.”
John Calvin recognized this distinction: “Because it [i.e., the pious mind who sees the one and only true God] sees him to be a righteous judge, armed with severity to punish wickedness, it ever holds his judgment seat before its gaze, and through fear of him restrains itself from provoking his anger. And yet it is not so terrified by the awareness of his judgment as to wish to withdraw, even if some way of escape were open… Besides, this mind restrains itself from sinning, not out of dread of punishment alone; but, because it loves and reveres God as Father…and adores him as Lord…
“Here indeed is pure and real religion: faith so joined with an earnest fear of God that this fear also embraces willing reverence…” (John Calvin, Institutes of the Christian Religion, Book 1, 42-43).
Third, note that the fear of God complements our love for God. God is not only to be our greatest love, but also our greatest fear (Lk. 12:4-5). Both should be embraced equally and simultaneously: ‘“And now, O Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him…,”’ (Deut. 10:12, NIV, emphasis added). Fearing God without loving God will end in terror; a dreadful deity to hide from. Loving God without fearing God will end in sentimentalism; a domesticated deity to treat as an equal. Embracing both will cause us to come boldly into His presence with reverential awe.
In C.S. Lewis’ book The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Susan asks Mrs. Beaver about Aslan the Great Lion, who represents Christ.
“Is he—quite safe? I shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion.”
“That you will, dearie, and no mistake,” said Mrs. Beaver; “if there’s anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they’re either braver than most or else just silly.”
“Then he isn’t safe?” said Lucy.
“Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ′Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”
(This article was adapted from the book The Way of Wisdom by Wayne T. Christensen)