The Comparison Game
By Wayne Christensen
The following is a true story of sibling rivalry, but the names have changed to protect the guilty. Sally wants to know, “Why doesn’t Johnny have to help clean up?” And Johnny wonders aloud, “Why does Sally get to stay up later?” “Time out!” cry the exasperated parents, as they gather their children, and sit them down for a talk about fairness, comparing, and worrying about yourself. The parents opened the Bible up to John 21:18-22 to teach some valuable lessons. But let’s be honest, it isn’t just children who need this talk and this text, so we adults. Envy is a problem that plagues all of us.
In John 21:18-22 Jesus reinstates Peter into ministry after he had failed miserably. Earlier Peter adamantly told Jesus that he would follow him, and even die, if necessary. He didn’t die; he denied Christ three times, just as Jesus predicted. Now Jesus has a new prophecy for Peter: “I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go” (vs. 18). Then John gives his own commentary to make sure the reader understands what Jesus is saying: “Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God…” (vs. 19).
I think Jesus’ prophecy simultaneously encouraged and frightened Peter. He was encouraged by the thought of remaining faithful to Jesus unto death. Previously he had failed, but a day was coming when he would succeed. And (don’t miss this) his death would glorify God. His mission in life would be fulfilled. I have no doubt that Peter’s hope was the same as Paul’s: “I eagerly…hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death” (Phil. 1:20). Peter would never again be ashamed of denying Christ, but would have sufficient courage to glorify Christ all the way to his own cross. According to tradition, Peter was crucified upside down (he felt unworthy to be crucified as his Lord was) by Nero, the Roman Emperor. On the other hand, Peter also was frightened by the fate that awaited him. He was, after all, only human, and the prospect of a painful, tortuous death would hang over his head for the rest of his life.
After the prophecy of Peter’s God-glorifying death, Jesus said to Peter, “Follow me!” The command had been given, however Peter hesitated. What happened? Peter turned his head to see what the other disciples were doing, and when he spotted John, he asked, “Lord, what about him?” (vs. 21). Isn’t this precisely the problem with many Christians right here? They have received their marching orders, but instead of moving forward they start to worry about Joe or Mary or Doug. Peter wonders if John’s fate will be equivalent to his. We want fairness. “If I have to die, so should John.” Says who? Life isn’t fair. God never intended or designed life to be fair—at least not as we count fairness. Let’s face it, some people are more attractive than others or more intelligent or athletic or musical or mechanical, etc. Some receive five talents, others two, and still others one (Matt. 25:15). God distributes different gifts with varying measures as he wills (1 Cor. 1211). Our responsibility is to follow Christ and steward these gifts for the advancement of his kingdom and glory.
Comparing ourselves to others in the way Peter did is always destructive. It distracts us from our individual calling. It makes us arrogant if we have more, or jealous if we have less. The comparison game is Satan’s game; it’s rigged, so he’s the only winner.
Jesus answered Peter’s question with one of his own to cause him to think: “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?” (vs. 22). In other words, “Peter, it’s none of your business.” Every single one of us is unique. Our gifts are unique. God’s will for each of us is unique, and our destinies in life are unique. It’s foolish to compare. Peter died at a relatively young age, while John lived to be an old man. Peter glorified God in his death, and John in his long life. The only thing that matters is that Christ is exalted in our body, whether by life or by death. The question is: Are we willing to yield to the sovereign control of God over our lives, and accept his unique gifts, purpose and destinies by which we will glorify him?
After Jesus rebuked Peter for his comparison with John, he repeated his earlier command, but with greater emphasis: “You must follow me” (vs. 22; author’s translation). Graciously, Jesus grabs Peter’s attention by repeating himself. We cannot follow Jesus while looking over our shoulder at others. If we focus on others, life will never seem equitable. However, if we fix our gaze on Christ, if we set our hearts on following him, we are more likely to be content with the good works God has prepared for us to do.